Artie is trying to slip away but our astute agents notice his fancier clothes. Jinks catches Artie lying and he confesses his case involves Dr. Calder but it's strictly professional. Claudia jumps in front of him "did i not leave enough food in your bowl?" to invite herself along. Hospitals = blood = Artie fainting. At the hospital in SLC, Artie nervously flirts with Dr. Calder and Claudia grins in the background. It seems that the organs and tissue of the victims are being metamorphosed into diatomaceous earth (clay)
Back at the Warehouse (batw) OMG! Pete & Myka wake up in bed together, naked! And Myka's hair is blonde, OMFG they were in Artie's bed w/ Artie's toothbrush. Pete " Don't blame me! I'm good but i've never changed a woman's hair color!"
Salt Lake City All the victims have been female, a DNA test will take days, but oh fancy pants! Artie has with him an original DNA sequencer. Boy is Dr. Calder excited. They begin to explain the origins of sequencing claiming Watson & Crick won all the fame & a Noble Prize but their work was based on the research of Rosalind Franklin. Claudia- "it's like watching Golden Gossip Girls" awkward, once Claudia steps away, Dr. Calder says she enjoyed their walk and they agree to dinner after the case is solved.
BATW Myka has a way to prove nothing happened: the durational spectrometer. it shows a little spooning, some drooling, almost a Teton :) and Pete makes a phone call, but nothing Doing It related in the last 5 hours. But how did they even get there? The Farnsworth buzzes & it's Artie "What's going on there?" Pete- "nothing! nobody had sex." Turns out Pete called Artie and left a message singing Escape (The pina colada song) Myka swears her hair hasn't changed & Pete asks if Artie's toothbrush means anything to him. But Artie abruptly signs off. Myka decides to check the system & discovers there are disturbances in the stacks. Also Pete's shoes and Jinks are missing. Uh- oh
SLC Dr. Vanessa, Artie & Claudia are looking at the DNA sequence of the latest victim. But the sequence isn't human it's for silicon. Some virus is changing their DNA. Artie sees a pattern, thanks to his code cracking days in the NSA. Claudia recognizes it as computer code. It's a computer virus that is infecting people, but that's impossible.. unless it's being super sized by an artifact! Flash away to a young man surfing empty rooms looking for women on web cams. Devena is home and he watches for a while, until she gets zapped by the computer. Back at the hospital, Hugo Miller- former warehouse tech expert, has arrived. And uh-oh, he knows Dr. Vanessa well. He calls her V and she calls him Huey- "Remember when we used to hang out in the Dark Vault? Play records.. you and me and mary jane" Thank goodness for another victim because Artie was showing his square side.
BATW Myka discovers that Tesla 315 was the first artifact disturbed. Pete calls out for Steve and leans against something that zaps him. It's a Tesla coil and they use it for target practice with the Tesla guns. They begin to recall that they had brought Jinks to target practice and flashback: Steve has just come out to Pete & Myka and Pete couldn't be more excited. He is glad to have someone who'll appreciate how much he works out. He even takes off his shirt & lets Jinks he's free to look anytime. Pete's straight so it's cool. In an attempt to stop this crazy train, Jinks returns to target practice but his shot goes a bit wide. Pete can't resist showing off his mad Tesla skills (the guns have been Claudia-fied to require less charging) but his between the legs shot goes wide & hits a shelf. A few juggling balls fall from the top. Pete & Myka catch them as she declares no more fooling around before they burst into giggles. These were W.C. Fields juggling balls and handling them causes a drunken state and black out. Back in present time, Pete doesn't think the balls made them drunk because then he would have slept with someone.. ooh wait.
SLC Artie & Claudia are in the waiting room when Dr. Calder & Hugo reappear. They seem convinced if they can retrieve the artifact, Hugo can write an anti virus. Hugo suggests they split up and Artie dejectedly agrees to hunt the artifact with Claudia.
BATW still retracing their steps, they discover the next artifact disturbed was Walt Disney's paintbrush and Marilyn Monroe's hair brush (turns any users hair platinum blonde) oh no, Steve's tesla is laying on a nearby shelf. And as they remember a little more we flash back: Pete is painting his shoes into bouncy cartoon versions of themselves while Myka is brushing herself blonde. Jinks arrives and chastises them for playing with the artifacts (apparently Artie's rule no. 1) They tease him and agree with Claudia's assessment that he's a poopy pants. Steve wants to put everything back but Pete suggests a field trip through the big dangerous Warehouse as Myka swipes Steve's tesla and leaves it behind.
SLC Artie is tearing up the latest victims room and Claudia tries to calm him. She assures him that just because Dr. Calder & Hugo were an item back in the Civil War (lol) doesn't mean they will be now. Artie admits that he had given up hope of romantic companionship but with Vanessa he felt hope. And now back to work! Claudia checks the victims computer using her laptop and discovers all the victims have receipts from TigerDirect.com Discount Computers. Finally, a lead! As the agents head to TigerDirect, we cut to inside the store where the young man we saw earlier, Tyler, is busted by his boss spying on girls via web cams and is promptly fired. He storms out to his van in the parking lot. Artie, Claudia, Dr. V & Hugo all arrive minutes later to discover Tyler has just been fired for being a techno peeping tom. Claudia borrows Artie's Tesla and heads out to get Tyler. But he's been busy hacking into the system & he suddenly appears on all the store TVs telling the employee's secrets. As he's laughing about it, the necklace he's wearing sends a signal through his laptop and zaps everyone in the store. Luckily Artie covers his & Dr. V's eyes just in time. Hugo realizes the virus is downloading to humans through the optic nerve which is acting like a coaxial cable. Dr. V calls a code November and orders a lock down on the store (It's good to be CDC) to avoid an outbreak.
Locked outside away from her team, Claudia didn't find Tyler but knows he used a very advanced 'battering ram' to hack in. They ask if anyone knows where he might go. Turns out he likes to pick up girls at a coffee shop so Claudia heads there. Hugo is busy working on the anti virus but symptoms are already starting and Dr. V's prognosis is 6 hours.
BATW the last disturbance noted is Richard Nixon's shoes- maybe put on so Pete could lie to Steve? Myka is frustrated that it still isn't making sense why they ended up in bed & Steve is missing (and pete's shoes) Pete tries calming her down by saying sex isn't the worst that could happen to them. Friendships survive a lot worse. They agree to forget about it as Pete finally spots Steve. He's been bronzed. Flashback: Myka leads Steve into the Bronze sector where Pete has just hidden Nixon's shoes in a chamber. He pretends they've been looking all over for his favorite fancy shoes & of course, Jinks finds them. Once he steps inside to pick them up, they lock him in and turn it on. After taking turns posing for pictures with the bronzed Jinks (Pete with his shirt up & Myka bent over) they try to reverse the process but it requires a DNA sample. They take turns spitting into the bowl and try spitting together but are declined. Pete remembers what Artie's toothbrush is for!
SLC inside the store they are now coughing up clay. On his potential deathbed, Hugo confesses to Artie that he pines for Dr. Calder. He remembered her when he was in the sanitarium & even carries a picture of her that he drew. Hugo asks if Artie has met anyone special.. Artie- "Emet!" Hugo- "oh, i didn't realize you were a homosexual. Are you what they call a bear?" Artie- "not Emmett, E met!" It's the Hebrew word for truth and also part of an artifact behind the Jewish myth of Golem. In 16th century Prague, Rabbi Judah Loew attempted to save the Jews of the ghetto from pogroms (riotous attacks based on hate of a people) by making a creature of clay and carving, EMET, into the forehead to make it come alive. Artie calls Claudia to tell her it's the necklace and she arrives as Tyler is leaving the coffee shop. He spots her eyeballing him & runs.
- Back at the store the manager has pulled the security guards gun and demands to be released. Dr. V won't let him pass and he starts coughing on her. The virus has mutated and is now passing from person to person. If that wasn't bad enough, it also seems to be stronger as Dr. V immediately falls down.
- Claudia is chasing & shooting the Tesla, leaping buildings but coming up just short on her landing.
- The people rush the store door in a panic but the armed CDC agents aren't letting them out. Dr. V admits to being scared and Hugo tries to finish the anti virus.
- Claudia needs a foot hold and just in time Tyler returns to help pull her up. Tyler- Why are you chasing me? Claudia- I'm not chasing you, I'm falling to my death. Back on solid footing she confesses to not caring if he's the best hacker since herself, she just wants his necklace. He turns it over explaining his Great Uncle has given it to him to ward off evil. He never meant to hurt anyone.
SLC Hugo is almost done but he's lost his eyesight. Artie will be his eyes & they finish the antivirus as Claudia arrives with the necklace. She doesn't know how she'll get it inside, but Artie has just the thing in his bag. He throws a bottle of ink and when the necklace is thrown at the spot it passes right through! The ink is from Francis Villon's inkwell, he was a 15th century poet & thief, a better thief than poet. The only thing left is to hit send on the antivirus but no one knows what is going to happen to whomever wears the necklace during this. With one last longing look at Vanessa, he makes Hugo promise to take care of her, slips the necklace on & hits send. The screens emit the cure to everyone but Artie is thrown back unconscious. As he comes to, Dr. Calder is leaning over him and he asks if this is heaven, then Hugo leans into view and he says Guess not.
As things are wrapping up in Salt Lake, it seems like a pretty happy ending except for Tyler being lead away in handcuffs. Hugo has decided not to go back to Eureka (too many booms, wants more quiet) He walks over to Dr. Calder and Artie watches sadly. Claudia wants to comfort him but what is there to say? As Artie turns to leave, Dr. Calder comes over to say bye. As Artie tries to wish her & Hugo well, she explains that Hugo sees the girl she was but Artie sees her. With a kiss on the cheek, she reminds him he still owes her dinner, a nice dinner and leaves Artie with a smile
Ominous music takes us into the patrol car with Tyler. A sketchy looking cop (Sasha Roiz!!) listens as he tries to bargain for his release. But not to worry, someone is interested in talking with him, and maybe helping him with his legal troubles. Now Agent Stukowski (FBI agent introduced in 3.01) joins the party, identifies the ex-cop as Marcus and tells him to use the siren. Seems Tylers computer skills have caught the attention of this seasons Big Bad.
